Can Tapping Reduce Alcohol Cravings? w/ Dr. Carol Look
Today I'm joined by Carol Look. Carol is a psychotherapist, bestselling author, and one of the early pioneers of EFT tapping. She's been doing this work for more than twenty five years, helping people with stress, anxiety, cravings, and behavior change. We talk about what tapping actually is and how it may help when cravings show up. And then we actually do it.
Speaker 1:Carol walks me through a tapping session for cravings, and then we use something real from my own life to show how it works in the moment. If you've ever wanted another practical tool for getting through a craving, I think you'll get a lot out of this one. Carol, thanks for coming on today.
Speaker 2:Hi, Mike. Nice to be with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah. This is gonna be a great one. But before we get started into what EFT is and how people can use it, why don't you give us a little bit of background on you and how you got into EFT and who you help today?
Speaker 2:It's pretty interesting. So I started as a traditional psychotherapist, and I still can consider myself that. Then I got interested in hypnosis. I wanted to know about the right brain and the left brain and what makes us tick. And I loved it, but I wasn't a great hypnotist.
Speaker 2:And somebody in my hypnosis class said, if you think this is fun, you ought to try this new weird tapping thing. I'm like, what are you talking about? And they said, we tap on acupuncture points and change your feelings. I I didn't I couldn't get it, but I took a class, totally fascinated, and I started working with all the people that were coming to me for hypnosis. And I said, I'll give you five minutes of this new technique.
Speaker 2:If you don't feel anything different and when you're a hypnotist, people come to you for breathing problems, anxiety problems, alcohol, drug, and food problems. Right? That's why they come to you. And I said, if you don't like it or it doesn't work, I'll give you the five minutes at the end of the session. Nobody loses anything.
Speaker 2:Every single one Mike said, what are you doing? What did you just do, and why do I feel differently? And that was that helped me get over my cynicism. I was a total skeptic and cynical, and this is weird, and where's the science, and the rest is history. That was twenty more than twenty five years ago, and I've worked on myself, and I've worked on the clientele that I work with now, a lot of recovering addicts, but and alcoholics, but also people who just wanna get ahead, get better.
Speaker 2:They're like, what? There's gotta be more in life. You know? Why am I blocking myself? Why am I sabotaging myself in work, with money, in relationships, with my health?
Speaker 2:And so I help people understand, honestly, that we're wired for safety, not for success. So if anything makes you feel scared, anything, you're going to go for it. You know? You're gonna try to you're gonna get in your own way, and it's not a bad thing. It's just how human beings are wired.
Speaker 2:So people come to me from business, right, entrepreneurs, relationship issues, certainly addiction issues. And they're really just saying there's got to be more than basic talking. It's not working for me. I'm not changing. People, they try hard, but they don't feel like they're changing enough.
Speaker 2:And that's what happened to me too because I used it on myself and cleared massive insomnia, massive anxiety. I was born with it. I was born anxious. Food crave terrible food cravings. I come from an alcoholic family, so I stayed away from alcohol because I knew what could happen there.
Speaker 2:But that just means I turned to cigarettes and food. Right? Because I hadn't dealt with the unlucky feeling. So that's part of the background. That's part of what happened in my life.
Speaker 1:I love I love the background because you came to it with cynicism, like doubting it. Because, you know, part of this episode hits home for me because in my sort of journey of I'm just gonna try everything I can, I did stumble upon EFT, and I did try it? And it was one of the few things that I could definitively say. First of all, I was like, it couldn't be that easy a little bit. I'm pretty open to the woo woo thing, but it it also I I was a skeptic, and I did try it.
Speaker 1:And I did say, this is noticeably different. It didn't always happen the first time I did it, but it definitely, as I did it more or if I did it in succession, I felt a difference from my state before and after. Now we're talking a little bit in abstract because we haven't explained exactly what it is to people who haven't listened or tried it before. So so if somebody is new to it, what exactly is EFT?
Speaker 2:Okay. EFT tapping, everybody calls it tapping now. What we're doing is we're tapping with our fingertips on acupuncture points on the face and the body, and that accesses the energy circuitry in your body, which is completely involved with your nervous system. So the reason it works and the reason even skeptics will say, oh, something happened is because we're accessing the nervous system and calming you down. So if you're scared of anything or you have cravings or you're worried about the meeting next week with your boss, anything, it highlight your nervous system gets all agitated and what the tapping does while you're focused on an issue.
Speaker 2:So people I say, you know, if I was gonna send you a Word document, Mike, I'd have to bring it up, edit it, save it, and send it. And that's what we're doing. We're bringing up the topic. I'm upset about this. I'm worried about this.
Speaker 2:I have stress in my body. Then we're tapping, and the tapping tapping sends sends these these calming signals to your brain and your nervous system. So then you've paired this thing you're upset about with the calming signals, and you feel different. Everybody says, I don't get it. I don't know what you just did or what I just did, but it I feel different.
Speaker 2:Like, to what you said, you you can't argue when your bot when your nervous system feels better and feels calmer. It's hard to it's hard to argue. It's not a thought process. It's not an insight. It's not, you know, anything like that.
Speaker 2:So people really feel the difference in their body.
Speaker 1:Now what does EFT stand for? I'm forgetting.
Speaker 2:The the original from years ago was emotional freedom techniques.
Speaker 1:K.
Speaker 2:Then everyone said, you know, everyone would forget what it stands for, and now it's just tapping. We just do tapping, and you could call it anything you want, but now we do tapping. We're tapping on these acupuncture points to calm us down.
Speaker 1:I know that I've said many times that e I'll say EFT tapping, but I know that the t stands for tapping, so I know I'm a little being a little bit redundant in saying that. Now you said who how this works and who it's for, but what is it not? What do people tend to misunderstand about what's happening?
Speaker 2:What they actually, what they misunderstand is how to target the right topic. So you need to be really specific. You don't just walk down the street and tap. You don't just drive in your car and tap. You wanna be focused on distress, some something that's upsetting you.
Speaker 2:So it could be a craving. It could be a worry. It could be an old trauma. It could be a physical pain. You wanna be very focused, and the the the challenge is that people say, oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:I did some tapping. Well, what were you focused on? Oh, no. I just did some tap. No.
Speaker 2:No. No. You wanna be very focused on an emotion, a limiting belief, the a past event that bothers you when you think when you tune into it and it bothers you or a physical symptom. So if you have a migraine headache or if you're having a craving, which is both a physical symptom as well as an emotional symptom, right? So you wanna be very focused.
Speaker 2:So that's what they misunderstand is like, oh, I can just do tapping instead of nope. If you want better results, really focus on something specific. Measure. How does it feel now? How does it feel after the tapping?
Speaker 2:How are you doing? You you wanna track your progress because if it's not working, it means you can tweak the language or tweak something, but tapping works. Like, they've done it now. Well, they've done it for long before I started it, but the research has come out now to really pinpoint that it works, why it works, etcetera. So there's no argument.
Speaker 2:People used to argue, well, I don't know that tapping really works. Well, tapping works. We can't argue that. And it's like scientific case study you know, scientific journal after journal has identified that it does work. You know?
Speaker 2:Double replicated studies, etcetera. So if it's not working, it means you're not specific enough, not focused enough. Maybe you're distracted. Like, when I I do a lot of trauma work. And I say to people, the nature of trauma is that we don't wanna go there.
Speaker 2:We don't wanna deal with our traumas because it scares us, and our nervous system goes haywire. So don't do trauma work on yourself. And people try to do that, and they disappear from their body, and they're trying to tap on the trauma of the car accident that happened five years ago, and they can't get into it. They can't get into it. So it's really about, I would say, specifics, focus, really be in it, and know what you're working on instead of like, oh, mhmm.
Speaker 2:Sure. I did some tapping. Because that does it just it won't land. It won't work.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I could see that. I know that in my own I think you get probably get two people. Yeah. I tried that, and I didn't quite get what I was looking for because they didn't really do it right.
Speaker 1:Or in my case, I did a lot of reading. I watched a lot of videos, and I still felt like, am I doing like, half the time I was doing it, am I doing this right? Am I saying the right thing? Oh, shoot. I forgot what I was actually the mantra I was telling myself.
Speaker 1:And so I'm really glad that you're here because you're gonna walk us through step by step on how to actually do this at home and then also other resources if we wanna go further with it. But you did mention the science there. And, you know, I don't wanna put you on the spot, but is there some science that you've read through or that you're aware of that you could actually talk about a little bit that would support everything that you do here?
Speaker 2:I could tell you about some of the results. So reducing cortisol levels, which were all poisoned by our cortisol. Right? Yeah. Reducing overall stress.
Speaker 2:Reducing the you know what IgA is? Muclobulin. Right? Okay. Is it, something that they measure in your through your saliva saliva with trauma.
Speaker 2:So that goes down. People have reported reduced cravings. Right? They've done long term studies on food, food cravings and and weight loss, anxiety, depression. So the results keep showing groups of people.
Speaker 2:They try it out. They do it for a certain number of weeks or they identify a certain number of sessions, and then they report before and after. That's why it is easy to test. What did you feel before? How do you feel after?
Speaker 2:Right? The trauma responses are incredible because trauma gets stuck in our body, and trauma could be a car accident. It could be, you know, a fight with your spouse. It could be the boss came in and said, oh, I'm sorry to tell you bad news, but we gotta let you go, And you didn't see it coming. Trauma is anything you don't see coming and you don't feel in control of.
Speaker 2:So when when people respond to trauma, again, no matter what the numbers show in the science, it's like they're saying this is incredible. Like, I haven't slept well. I haven't, you know, since I but now I do tapping and now I sleep. I don't have flashbacks, and now I do tapping and I'm much better. I go offline all the time with because of my trauma fear response, but now I'm present with my kids, with my at work, you know, with my friendships.
Speaker 2:So so it's both clinical that we have the responses with the numbers. I think that cortisol going down is 27. It's something incredible, right, the numbers, But it's across all areas. So not just anxiety, but also depression. Not just those two emotions and those emotional states, but trauma responses to trauma and traumatic events.
Speaker 2:So it's it's pretty impressive. It's pretty I'm not involved in the research. I'm very happy they're doing it, but they've done a lot of hard work in the last fifteen, twenty years.
Speaker 1:Well, it is impressive. It is convincing. I mean, I have zero doubt that it functions just from my own anecdotal experience. And one of the things that I love about it is that it does have the opportunity to kinda do it anywhere at any time as as needed. You know, one of the criteria that I really tried to stick to when I'm helping people work through cravings and urges is to find these mindfulness techniques that they can do if they're at a restaurant.
Speaker 1:Can they step out, maybe go to their car or to the bathroom or you know, if they're at home, it doesn't require that the kids have to be totally quiet or the dog doesn't bark so that they can get into a place What? Where they can change their state. So that's one of the things I love about this technique.
Speaker 2:Love it. Love it. And it's so important that people feel confident with something that they can do in a few minutes. You don't this isn't the four day retreat. Right?
Speaker 2:You can do five minutes, three minutes. And remember, it's not just targeting cravings. Where do cravings come from? They come from stress. Cravings are just, oh, that's my tool.
Speaker 2:That's my thing I go towards. I go towards sugar. Somebody else goes towards alcohol. So if you can target the stress every day, five I tell my clients, five minutes a day. Sometimes they come back and say, oh, life got too busy.
Speaker 2:I think if your life was too busy to do five minutes of tapping a day, we have other issues around sabotage, right, that we have to talk about. But five minutes a day and you start taking your overall stress levels, like scooching it down just a little bit, cravings are different. They're not the same urgency. You do not feel like, I have to have it because it's really it it's produced by stress. It's not really it is a craving.
Speaker 2:I know that. But if you didn't have stress, you wouldn't have the cravings. You don't need to have the extra drink, the extra three drinks, four drinks. You don't need to when your nervous system feels safe. You wouldn't you wouldn't need to put that into your body.
Speaker 2:Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. You know what's interesting? I wanna before we get into the actual session itself, I wanna talk a little bit more and some of this overlaps with what you said around alcohol and how tapping can help with that urge to drink. But one thing that came up in my mind as you were speaking that I didn't have in any of my notes was part of moderation or mindful drinking include doesn't say take alcohol completely away. And then sometimes so it's not always a decision that's made.
Speaker 1:I'm not drinking or I'm drinking. Sometimes it's I'm gonna drink, but I am no longer gonna drink anymore from this point. And so I want and and sometimes those mistakes are made in that that moment. So I wonder also that tapping could be something as funny as it sounds even if you've had another drink and you're saying, hey. My plan is to only have one drink today, and that second drink is the craving for that is pretty strong.
Speaker 1:It seems like this could be something you could even do at that point. With people that you work with, is there any specific approach that you take when it comes to alcohol itself?
Speaker 2:Well, he just in your example, what's really interesting is that the alcohol can lower someone's inhibition, so then they the commitment they made to only have one every night starts to get a little a little
Speaker 1:It's a different person making the decision now.
Speaker 2:A little gray area. But remember when we're talking about urgency and cravings, what is that really? What really is the craving? I gotta have more. Why do you why do you have to have more?
Speaker 2:What's the and then the reason. So, again, be clear about the target. What are you targeting? Right? This I do this a lot with food people as well, people who have food issues.
Speaker 2:Like, they don't wanna give up the sugar. And I say to them, tap. Don't wait till you're on your way to Dunkin' Donuts to tap because you won't tap. Right? So that's why I would more, recommend that people tap every day, get the stress down, stress down, stress down, and you're gonna find your responses of overdrinking get lower and lower.
Speaker 2:So I give when with alcohol, I give it to people because I have long term sobriety people too who say, I'm on the verge of I think I could actually start drinking again, and they've got five and ten years of sobriety. Right? So use it as a daily tool first. Get very used to it. And then if you're in a pinch and you really have the commitment not to have the second or the third or whatever it is, whatever you've committed to, use it then, but you have to pull it out of your pocket and use it.
Speaker 2:Like the person who's on their way to the next bag of chips or the cookies or the next line of cocaine, whatever it is, you have to you you have to be the one. You it has to be under your agency to wanna do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So what I'm hearing is that this isn't a reactive tool. While it can be used like that, we wanna be proactive in its use. So what are, like, the best use cases? Maybe time or frequency or you know, maybe it's before, after, and be during a craving.
Speaker 1:How do you typically set somebody up when they wanna get started?
Speaker 2:So I think before is the best because when you're in the middle of some crisis and, again, crisis could feel like a craving to somebody. Crisis could feel like just something's going on at work, and they they get agitated and upset and don't handle it well. Right? Before is the best. Now I say, what will make you do it?
Speaker 2:It's like exercise. Right? What's the best exercise program and time of day? The one that you're gonna get done. Right?
Speaker 2:So I do every day, I do fifteen minutes. Sometimes I split it up. The point is I need to get it done because my nervous system could be up and down all throughout the day. I had a challenging job. You know?
Speaker 2:So I would do it every day as a stress relief technique and then use it later during the day if you're running into a problem. The problem is that when you run into a problem, you don't think straight. That's what's happening. And you don't think to use your mindfulness techniques. You don't think to use your breathing.
Speaker 2:You don't think to use your tapping. So I always say to people, get money in the bank. Tap every day. Get it done. You start to you're gonna start to feel something in your body.
Speaker 2:And maybe someone feels something the first day, and other people like, oh, it took about four or five days, but then overall, I felt better. If you're sleeping better and eating better and communicating better, your cravings are lower. That's my opinion. In thirty years as a as a shrink and working in an alcohol substance abuse agency for years, I just I've seen it. I've seen it.
Speaker 2:When someone's stressed out, not only do they use it as an excuse, they're just not thinking straight. They're upset. They're not thinking straight. They wanna take the edge off. That's where everybody gets in trouble with with all substances, you know, including the x, right, that people called.
Speaker 2:They they don't they don't call them when they're calm and doing well. They call them with for under duress. Right?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's great. I mean, I'm already learning something because even though I actually did go full in like I always do and did research, I used it at that time with as much effort and everything that I did at that time, which was kinda anything I could find. I used it more as a reactive tool. And I probably would have gotten so much more benefit out of it even though I did get benefit Yes. Had I had I been using it properly, had I talked to somebody like you with your thirty years experience and insights.
Speaker 1:So yes. And, also, totally agree. Whatever time that allows you to do it is the right time.
Speaker 2:You know? Absolutely. And remember, it's not that it doesn't work if it's used as a reactive tool, but when we're reactive, we tend not to pull our tools out of our pocket. That's that's the real reason to use it daily, steadily, right, consistently. That's the real reason to do it consistently is because when you're in a pickle, you tend not to do it.
Speaker 2:So that's that's why the reactive is never quite as good. Right? Telling someone when they're upset, do your breathing. Do your breathing. They don't wanna do that when they're upset.
Speaker 2:Right? Calm down.
Speaker 1:That's very true. Calm down. You're uncomfortable and you're looking at two things, first one, you have a drink here that we already the brain has learned that gives instant relief a 100% of the time, or go tap on your face, body, and chest and talk to yourself. It that's a that's a pretty easy decision at times.
Speaker 2:Right. We are human beings are very impulsive. We want what we want, and we want it now. Right?
Speaker 1:Yes. A 100%.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Alright. Let's do it. I want you to walk us through one of these sessions. I'm gonna kinda just hand it over to you whatever format you wanna do. If you just wanna just go and do all the talking, totally fine.
Speaker 1:But let's actually try it. Can you walk us through one of these sessions where somebody would maybe be trying to drink less or maybe their goal is just completely drink? Whatever it is, they wanna make the right decision during that time that's difficult. Yeah. So I'll pass it over to you.
Speaker 2:Okay. So there are three options just for your audience that I think would be really good, and I want you to choose. Okay? Stress, overall stress in the body, the urgency of a craving, or the feelings they have about struggling around this issue. Those are three come now when remember when I was saying choose the right target?
Speaker 2:Those are three very different targets. So you know your audience better than I do. What do you think would be most useful for them? Having oh, I've got a craving now and and trying to back it off or generalized stress or old, know, feelings built up feelings of shame or guilt or whatever that they've they're still struggling with this issue.
Speaker 1:Let's go with the cravings because although they're all sorta intertwined, know, I think that it's so nuanced how people drink. Some people use it for celebration. Some people use it for decompressing. Yeah. Some but I think everybody tends to default to say, if I coulda just got past that craving, I probably would have made it to the next day and stayed resolute to to my plan.
Speaker 2:Yes. Okay. And one thing that I learned about cravings is that they do pass, but we never give them enough time. It's not twenty four hours. Sometimes it's five minutes.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it's ten minutes. So they do pass if we have something that we could, you know, put in the Yeah. Put our foot in the door before the door slams. So they do pass. And sometimes
Speaker 1:And even with that knowledge, it's still hard. You know?
Speaker 2:And sometimes people say, I didn't know that. Once I'm gripped by a craving, I think it's all over. So sometimes that is even even useful. So now a lot of people listening right now, they don't have a craving right now. Right?
Speaker 2:And we usually target something that they're feeling right now. You don't have a craving right now. Right? Well okay. So we're gonna have to target, it's interesting, the urgency of a craving.
Speaker 2:Okay? So people can't measure that unless people listening actually have one right now. K? So what we'll do is say, if you have a craving now, measure it zero to 10. So we try to say, how are you doing before?
Speaker 2:How are you doing after? Do you have a craving right now? No. Not really. But when you think of having a craving and backing off of it, how do oh, no.
Speaker 2:I can't do that. Okay. Then we've got something if you understand. We've got the intensity that we wanna work with. So then you'd measure that.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. I remember. I don't like cravings. You know? I I'm not good with craving, etcetera.
Speaker 2:So then we tap the side of your hand. I'm right handed, so I take my right hand and tap on this point on my left hand. Doesn't matter. They both work, both sides, bilateral system. And we say this accepting statement, which some people object to.
Speaker 2:You know, I work with a lot of Wall Streeters, and they're like, I'm not gonna say I accept myself. You know what? It works. What it does is it starts to release the tension around anything. And what we say is, even though I have this challenge, this problem, I accept myself anyway.
Speaker 2:Like, what's wrong? Right? But some people don't wanna say that, I highly recommend you do that. Don't skip this step. So we're tapping is a very important acupuncture point right here.
Speaker 2:We're tapping right like that. And you might just repeat after me. Even though I'm having this intense craving
Speaker 1:Even though I'm having this intense craving
Speaker 2:And I'm not sure I wanna give it up
Speaker 1:And I'm not sure I wanna give it up
Speaker 2:I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.
Speaker 1:I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.
Speaker 2:Even though the craving makes me feel a little out of control.
Speaker 1:Even though the craving makes me feel a little bit out of control.
Speaker 2:I accept myself because I'm doing the best that I can.
Speaker 1:Accept myself because I'm doing the best that I can.
Speaker 2:Now beginning tapping, people would just say the same sentence over and over and over again. Switch it up. Tell a story is fine. You're not gonna do it wrong. If you're focused on one thing, which is what we want, you're not doing it wrong, but you're kinda telling a story.
Speaker 2:Then you take two fingers of your dominant hand. Again, I'm right handed, so I do it on the right side. And there's specific points, so I'm gonna narrate. And what we say is the target. So our target is I have this intense craving.
Speaker 2:Right? So now when we tap the points, we're gonna say, this intense craving. I feel out of control. This intense craving. So the first point is the beginning of either eyebrow, Not in the middle, not in the third eye, but the right here, the beginning of the hair of either eyebrow.
Speaker 2:Right? So I tap right there. Okay? I have this intense craving.
Speaker 1:Have this intense craving.
Speaker 2:The next next point is corner of the right or left eye. So right here. I have this intense craving, and I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1:I have this intense craving, and I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2:Next point is under either eye on the little bony orbit there. I have this intense craving.
Speaker 1:I have this intense craving.
Speaker 2:And I feel a little out of control.
Speaker 1:And I feel a little out of control.
Speaker 2:The next point is on your upper lip below your nose. Tap like that. Two fingers. I have this intense craving.
Speaker 1:I have this intense craving.
Speaker 2:Next point, called the chin point below your lip part. Right here. I have this intense craving, and I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1:I have this intense craving, and I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2:The next point is one of these funny little knobs here. If you want, you can put your hand just like that, and you cover both of them where the knot of a man's tie would be. You just go like that.
Speaker 1:This is on your on your chest, like, collarbone area?
Speaker 2:Below the clavicle right here, below those funny little knobs. So you could do one or the other or both. I have this intense craving, and I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1:I have this intense craving, and I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2:The next point is four inches under armpit. So either side, left or right. I'll do it here because my right hand Mhmm. I have this intense craving, and I'm afraid I'm gonna drink.
Speaker 1:I have this intense craving, and I'm afraid I'm gonna drink.
Speaker 2:Last point is around very important acupuncture points on the top of the head, and you just go around in a circle like that. I have this intense craving.
Speaker 1:This is on the top of the head here.
Speaker 2:Marquee head.
Speaker 1:Yep. I have this intense craving.
Speaker 2:And I'm afraid I'm gonna drink.
Speaker 1:And I'm afraid I'm gonna drink.
Speaker 2:Take a breath. And then you go back and measure it. Now you didn't have a craving to start with, so we weren't doing technically a real example. But then you notice, well, what did that bring up? What did did that bring up anything for you that I was using language like, uh-oh, I feel out of control.
Speaker 2:I might get in trouble. I might use it. Did you feel anything around that?
Speaker 1:It actually took me back to a point in my life where I was in my car and doing it when I did have a craving. And I remember I did it some of the things that came up is, am I saying the right thing, which I was I think I'm close enough to what you said. And then I remember it helping, but it wasn't enough. And I did it Mhmm. A second time, and it and it did.
Speaker 1:And I got past that craving. It it brought me right back to it.
Speaker 2:Amazing. So remember, when you're having a craving, your nervous system has gone off. Your nervous system is trying to convince you, I need alcohol. I think I should have alcohol. Oh, it's a really good idea.
Speaker 2:I need it. I want it. And it's not factually true. You don't need it. Right?
Speaker 2:You may want it, but you don't need it in your body. So what we're doing is telling the nervous system you're safe. You're okay. You can have a craving, and you're fine. You don't have to act on it.
Speaker 2:And that information when we're tapping on the points and that sends signals, calming signals to the brain, that's what shifts things. People are like, you know, I have a craving. I'm but I'll survive this. Right? Now it's a very good point that you brought up.
Speaker 2:Don't just do it once. K? Keep going. And if you're, I help a lot of people who are in urgent situations or they're on the subway in New York or they're in a courtroom or whatever, and they can't say they can't do, even though I have this problem, I accept myself. They can't say everything out loud, so do it quietly.
Speaker 2:You can get away with that. If you're in your car alone, tap all the points as much as you can until you start to feel it because you're focused on the problem. I also tell people, do it quiet. Do it, in your imagination. What do you mean?
Speaker 2:Look in the mirror. Watch yourself tap. Like, you know what I look like tapping. Right? Watch yourself tap on yourself for a couple of rounds, and then in a situation where it's public and you really shouldn't be tapping under your arm.
Speaker 2:Right? Do it in your mind's eye and just go Wow. I mean, visualization is, like, one of the most powerful tools we have.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So it was a very good point about you saying you did it once and and maybe took the edge off, but not enough, and you kept doing it. Right? So the word everybody gets hung up on the words. It is the words meaning it's focus you're trying to focus on a target, but the most important thing is to get to your emotions. What's your emotion?
Speaker 2:I I was just saying, you know, I I don't know. I might lose control. Like, get to your emotions. Do you feel panicky when you have a craving? Do you feel upset and forlorn because you think, ah, screw it.
Speaker 2:I'm just gonna do it. And what do you feel when you have a craving? A lot of people panic. A lot of people feel an anxiety a spike of anxiety. They don't know where it comes from.
Speaker 2:They don't get it. They're they can't evaluate it because their brain has just gone offline. We gotta understand the human brain. We are we are really complicated sometimes, and sometimes we're really simple. Rate anxiety, stress, brain disappears.
Speaker 2:Prob you know, processing your thoughts disappears. So keep doing it. Keep doing it. Celeste, can we do one more?
Speaker 1:I would just Yeah. I was gonna say, can we swap in maybe a couple, just at least the the what do what would you call it? A mantra, or what would you call it?
Speaker 2:Well, it's just that I do it's a round of tapping, and the the words are focusing on your target. So we look. I have this intense craving. I have this intense craving. What if I lose control?
Speaker 2:Oh gosh. I I might drink. Now let's do a basic stress one. Because if all your listeners did basic stress for ten minutes a day, I'm telling you they'd be writing you and saying, yeah. I'm not I'm not indulging in the cravings, but also other things.
Speaker 2:Right?
Speaker 1:Amazing.
Speaker 2:As we're Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. Rewiring. So let's do a stress one.
Speaker 2:So this one, everybody could say, oh, right now, am I stressed out? Sure. Yeah. With zero to 10, where is your stress right now? So you either tune into something at work or at home or in your body and say, oh, when I think about that, I feel stress, or you feel it right now and you just know you're carrying it.
Speaker 2:So for you, if you're willing willing to play along, Mike, tell me a you don't have to tell the content of it, but just say, yes. I can feel the stress about this issue, and it's a zero to 10 x.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, first of all, I'll let you run through it because I don't love hearing my voice repeated. You sound much better than I do. But I'll give you an example. So right now, I'm traveling with my family.
Speaker 1:I've got kids ages six, 12, and 14. They're all, of course, being kids and fighting, and everybody's trying I'm trying to get work done. People are trying to do things. It's supposed to be this fun family vacation, but family vacations are usually like that anyways. So I would just say just trying to not let that boil up and just stay calm during my vacation and enjoy the parts, that are enjoyable.
Speaker 2:You know? Good. So what is boiling up? Like, get a little more specific. So we're gonna choose a target.
Speaker 2:Is boiling up your frustration they're not listening to you? Is it the noise level? What is boiling up?
Speaker 1:Yeah. It's kinda like, why do we do why go on vacation if you're gonna all fight and argue a little bit chaotic? I mean, yeah, of course, we have fun, but, you know, with three kids and they all want this and that, and then they get at each other, then you throw a dog in the mix and one chasing the dog around. You can do the mental math as far as that goes.
Speaker 2:So would you say you're frustrated, impatient, irritated with them? Like, just see if you can get a feel Yeah.
Speaker 1:Frustrate. I think frustrated and a little bit impatient.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Good. So zero to 10, how bad is that right now as you're telling me the story? How high is it? Not bad.
Speaker 2:I shouldn't have said bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Six.
Speaker 2:Six. Okay. So a six is pretty uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:K.
Speaker 2:That's not that's not a lot of fun to live with a six of impatience and frustration and, ah, the noise level. Last week, I was just with my little niece little two nephews, nine and seven. Let me tell you about the noise level. I'm not used to it. Right?
Speaker 2:Like, what is go I was raised I was one of four girls. We played with puzzles. We played game. A nine and seven year old boy, I I never heard such I know. I was doing my tapping.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you. Okay. Here we go. So everybody, pick a frustration. Pick something that's agitating you.
Speaker 2:That's a good word. Something that feels like kinda getting you. Right? See if you can measure it, and stick to the same one. Don't switch.
Speaker 2:So that's the other thing some people do is they they thought about their boss, and they did tapping, and then, oh, no. No. Now I'm thinking about my boyfriend or girlfriend or something. Stick to the same one for a couple of rounds. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Mother, good rule of thumb. So here we go. So you're a six foot frustration. K? Even though I feel frustrated that nobody's getting along
Speaker 1:Even though I feel frustrated that not everybody is getting along.
Speaker 2:And it's really loud.
Speaker 1:And it's really loud.
Speaker 2:And I feel impatient.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I feel impatient.
Speaker 2:I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.
Speaker 1:I deeply and completely accept myself anyway. And I'm tapping on the, like, the hammer part of my hand. Right?
Speaker 2:Yep. Yep. We call the karate chop point of the size. Yeah. Even though I feel frustrated and impatient
Speaker 1:Even though I feel frustrated and and impatient
Speaker 2:It feels really chaotic here.
Speaker 1:Feels really chaotic here.
Speaker 2:I accept who I am and how I feel about it.
Speaker 1:I accept who I am and how I feel about it.
Speaker 2:Two fingers again, dominant hand, eyebrow point. It feels chaotic, and I'm frustrated.
Speaker 1:Feels chaotic, and I'm frustrated.
Speaker 2:Side of the eye. I'm frustrated because I'm not getting any work done.
Speaker 1:Frustrated because I'm not getting any work done.
Speaker 2:Under the eye, everybody's fighting.
Speaker 1:Everybody's fighting.
Speaker 2:Under the nose. And I can feel the stress levels in my body.
Speaker 1:And I can feel the stress levels in my body.
Speaker 2:I feel really frustrated about it. Shin point.
Speaker 1:Feel really frustrated about it.
Speaker 2:Collarbone. I feel so one of these knobs. I feel frustrated and stressed out.
Speaker 1:Feel frustrated and stressed out.
Speaker 2:Under the arm. I feel frustrated and stressed out.
Speaker 1:Feels frustrated and stressed out.
Speaker 2:And we end on the top of the head. I feel frustrated by the chaos, and it stresses me out.
Speaker 1:I feel frustrated by the chaos, and it stresses me out.
Speaker 2:Good. And you take a breath, and that just kinda moves the energy, continues to move the energy through. Because we did a real example, no right or wrong, tell me where the number is. You said it was a six. How are you doing?
Speaker 1:Yeah. It's just so funny. It just, like, put it out there. It's like three, two. You know?
Speaker 2:I heard a because I've done it for so long, I heard a shift in your voice. I could tell something just started to shift. Again, what we're doing is we're getting into the nervous system. Now some people would say, Carol, you used a different phrase every point. Okay.
Speaker 2:If you wanna do basic, like follow the bouncing ball, you say, I'm frustrated with the noise. I'm frustrated with the noise. I'm frustrated. Feel so like, keep but it's a little boring to do it that way. You can still it still works.
Speaker 2:Right? And you're tuned into one issue. I just can't do it like that anymore. I have to kinda I'm taking the words and the feelings that you've given me and trying to make a story and kinda tuning in. Right?
Speaker 2:So from a six to a three or a two is means your reaction to them is gonna be different. They're gonna react to you differently. Something's gonna shift. Right? And the most important thing is that you feel calmer.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And and to anybody listening, I'm that's not just me putting on the show because we're hitting record. I really do feel better. I really it it lightened the situation as I said it aloud. And, yeah, they're just you noticed a shift.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And there was.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. And then if you wanna do another round on the same thing, we'll do it very quickly. Okay? Even though I still feel some frustration about the fighting and the chaos
Speaker 1:Even though I feel some frustration from the fighting and the chaos
Speaker 2:I accept who I am anyway.
Speaker 1:I accept who I am anyway.
Speaker 2:Even though I've been agitated and frustrated by the fighting and the chaos
Speaker 1:Even though I've been agitated and frustrated by the fighting and the chaos.
Speaker 2:I accept who I am, and I'm doing the best I can.
Speaker 1:I accept who I am and doing the best that I can.
Speaker 2:There's some remaining frustration.
Speaker 1:There's some remaining frustration.
Speaker 2:Some remaining stress.
Speaker 1:Some remaining stress.
Speaker 2:I'm doing the best I can.
Speaker 1:I'm doing the best I can.
Speaker 2:Under the nose. Some remaining frustration.
Speaker 1:Some remaining frustration.
Speaker 2:But I'm handling it really well.
Speaker 1:But I'm handling it really well.
Speaker 2:Collarbone. I'm handling it really well.
Speaker 1:I'm handling it really well.
Speaker 2:Under the arm. I have some remaining frustration.
Speaker 1:I have some remaining frustration.
Speaker 2:Top of the head. And that's okay.
Speaker 1:And that's okay.
Speaker 2:K. So we're we're kind of acknowledging we've taken care of some of the frustration. There is something left, and that you would do that with a craving as well. Yeah. Craving started at the mine.
Speaker 2:Now it's a six. Now it's a two. Right. How did that one feel?
Speaker 1:It felt easier. You know? That's that was the difference. It felt a little bit just easier. Like, there wasn't as much there to address.
Speaker 2:Yes. So you were starting at a three or a two, which is very different. Now that brings up something else. A lot of times people, Mike, will say, they're going for the tens. Right?
Speaker 2:They'll go for the 10 like, we live with sixes and fives and sevens that are really tough on us. You don't have to go to the double black diamond. Okay? Yeah. No.
Speaker 2:Go for something that's manageable. Get practice. Get it under your belt. I'm gonna give you a YouTube my YouTube channel so they can practice there with all the success issues and just get the cadence of it. Like, get and, you know, the the points.
Speaker 2:So you start here, then you go around the side of your face. So you go eyebrow, side of eye, under the eye, under the nose, chin point, collarbone, under the armpit, top of the head. Once you get that, once you've done it a couple times, you don't forget points. And if you forgot a point, so what? You're just forgetting one out of the system.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's so good. And if anybody's listening, of course, like, yeah, this helped me. But the reason I really am glad that we walked through multiple of these is for somebody to imagine and swap out different use cases for themselves so that or use it back to back into session so that they know what that actually can look like and how it can differ.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. Great. Great. It's really the tool chain Mike, I have to the tool completely changed my life because the first thing that happened is I started sleeping.
Speaker 2:My insomnia went away. I woke up one day. I was like, well, I guess I'm that's weird. I think sleeping. Well, what do you think happens to your health when you start sleeping?
Speaker 2:What do you think happens to your reactions to your coworkers and your clients and your like, everything changed. Then I had to do deeper work around grief and my own cravings around food, etcetera, and cigarettes. So life changing. I say to my clients, I travel all over the world doing this. I was in Australia last year, and I said, if I find something else that works better, I will be the first one to do it and give it to you.
Speaker 2:But I haven't, and I have searched. I have really, really searched.
Speaker 1:I totally believe it. And I also love that you said don't wait for it to be like a 10 or a black diamond, as you said, because, really, the things that change in your life are the little things. And those little things, it's almost like a death by a thousand paper cuts. Right? Like, the little things add up, and then all of a sudden, you go from small to something that's mounting, and now you got a big issue to deal with.
Speaker 1:So start where you're at. Start at the things that maybe it's just been that uncomfortable pain that you just sort of, like, push push aside, but those those things matter as much as the ones that then turn into an emergency that we can't ignore anymore.
Speaker 2:Yep. Yep. And they all turn into cravings because remember, I say to people, alcohol works. Hope you know, food works. You know?
Speaker 2:Whatever it is that you're using works, so you've gotta calm your nervous you've gotta take care of your nervous system. And then it's just not as important. It's not urgent anymore. If you can get the if you can back off the urgency, you can get through a craving. But when something's urgent, we're human.
Speaker 2:You know us. You know what humans do. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, tell me a little bit about what you do as as far as, like, where people can go and find and learn more. And, also, you know, you gave us some great tips for somebody to try this at home. But if they're considering they want a little bit of extra help, what that difference would be and where they can reach out?
Speaker 2:Right. So, a good place to start is my YouTube channel, which is at Carol Look Success, and it's called Success Tapping. And what I do is issues around procrastination, sabotage, guilty saying no, money issues, all that stuff, and you'll get the and everybody has those issues anyway, right, not just cravings. And you'll get the cadence, you'll get the rhythm, and you'll get good practice, and they're short. They're eight minutes.
Speaker 2:Right? I do also do individual sessions. I'm full right now, but I take people as they as people do packages and leave. That's a great way to do it, and I'm also opening up a membership program at completely low cost where people can tap live. There there is a lot to the live.
Speaker 2:People have changed their lives by doing it watching videos and on themselves. But when you can tap with someone who's got the ears and eyes to see what's really going on, it makes, you know, it makes a difference. So if anybody wants to do that, there are lots of practitioners. I could refer them. And but it is once you have this tool in your toolbox, you will not give it up.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you, they will not give it up, especially when they feel the success of another day where they didn't cross their line that they gave themselves around another drink. When they wanted to do it in moderation and they stuck to it, then you feel good about yourself. We don't feel good when we break our own promises. We don't we don't feel good about that.
Speaker 1:Isn't that the truth?
Speaker 2:So I think the best place is, at Carol Look success. I also have some free more free videos with my, books that I have in the portal so you can go to my website and find the free portals there, which is carollook.com.
Speaker 1:Well, Carol, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you for destressing me today. Welcome. And, you know, thank you so much for taking the time to share. So anybody that's listening that wants to reach out, go check out those resources.
Speaker 1:And thanks again, Carol.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Mike. Pleasure being with you.
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