The Difference Between Drinking for Fun and Having Fun While Drinking
Hey everybody. Welcome back to another one of these ten minute Mondays. I want to start off with a scene. I want you to imagine that you're out with dinner with people that you really like. You've had a drink.
Speaker 1:Maybe you've had two. Conversation's good. Everybody's laughing. The night has become basically exactly what you hoped it would be. Then, big surprise, somebody asks, Hey, do you want another round?
Speaker 1:Or should we do another round? Most of us, we might stop and think for a moment, but we don't stop and think about what that next drink is actually supposed to do. It just kind of feels like it's part of keeping the night going. We're having fun. We're having drinks.
Speaker 1:So drinking more seems like that natural way to keep having fun. But those are two different things. There's drinking for fun and there's having fun while drinking. Those two can look exactly the same from the outside. But understanding the difference can help us enjoy alcohol without always needing more of it.
Speaker 1:It can also make the occasion when you aren't drinking feel a little less like a lesser version of the night. I want to start with being honest about something. Alcohol can make some experiences more enjoyable. There's an interesting study where researchers brought together seven twenty social drinkers and then they placed them into groups with three strangers. Some received alcohol, some received a placebo, and others received a nonalcoholic drink.
Speaker 1:The researchers then recorded the conversations and studied what happened. And what they found was the groups drinking alcohol spent more time talking. Big surprise. They showed more genuine smiles, expressed less negative emotion, and they reported a stronger feeling of social connection. So alcohol, as most of us know, can reduce some of that friction between people.
Speaker 1:It may help us feel a little bit less self conscious or make it just easier to enter into a conversation, even if it's awkward. And that's real. And if you enjoy having a drink at dinner, on vacation, maybe catching up with friends, this episode isn't going to tell you that you did not enjoy it. But alcohol is rarely the only thing happening. Think about what else is included with a good night out.
Speaker 1:You've finished working. You're somewhere different. You're around people that you choose to spend time with. There's music and food and conversation. And of course, there's that anticipation that came before any of that.
Speaker 1:And in fact, that was probably one of my favorites. Because alcohol creates this noticeable change in how you feel, it can easily receive credit for that entire experience. And in fact, I think about what happened to me for a very long time. My association between alcohol and fun pretty much started in my college years. Back then drinking usually meant something was happening.
Speaker 1:You were going out. You were going somewhere. You're going to see people, of course, staying out later than I'd planned. And because of those days, alcohol and fun basically arrived together often enough that they became almost inseparable in my mind. The strange part is that that association followed me into a completely different stage of my life.
Speaker 1:Years later, I could be at home without any real plans. And if I decided to buy a bottle of wine, or maybe something else to drink, going out and getting that and opening it made me feel like I was doing something. It made me feel like my night was more interesting. And in some small way, it made me feel like I was still fun. But if I'm being really honest, sometimes neither of those things was really true.
Speaker 1:I wasn't doing anything particularly fun. I might've been actually sitting in the same place watching something that I really didn't care about. And pouring a drink didn't suddenly turn me into this younger, more spontaneous version of myself that I associated with drinking. The alcohol had kept that same meaning that I picked up years earlier, even though the circumstances around it had completely changed. And that's one interesting thing about association.
Speaker 1:Our brains learn that certain things belong together. When they show up together often enough, one can begin to represent the other. Alcohol doesn't just become something that we consume while we're having fun. Becomes evidence that we are having fun. And that's when an ordinary night with wine may feel more exciting than the exact same night without it, even when very little about the experience has changed.
Speaker 1:This also helps to explain why drinking less can initially feel like we're losing more than just drinks. If alcohol represents celebration, connection, or a more interesting version of you, then skipping it can feel like we're skipping out on the occasion itself. But what if we flip that and gave everything involved a little bit more accurate credit? Maybe that drink did help you to relax at dinner, but the people also made you laugh. The music changed the energy in the room.
Speaker 1:Getting out of the house made the evening feel different. And putting your phone away allowed you to become part of the conversation. Now, in this instance, alcohol may have contributed without it actually creating the entire experience. And that distinction matters on nights when you choose to drink. Now let's return to the dinner where everyone is already having a good time.
Speaker 1:The first drink has helped you to settle in. Maybe you enjoyed the taste. Maybe the transition from the workday into the evening felt more natural. But once the conversation is flowing and the fun has arrived, what is that next drink being asked to do? Often, we seek it to maintain that feeling.
Speaker 1:We want that next hour to remain as good as the last one. And another round feels like the way to protect that momentum. But more alcohol doesn't necessarily mean more fun. At some point, the people, the conversation, the experiences, those are the things carrying the night. Continuing drinking may change how intoxicated you become, but it might not necessarily improve what you're actually enjoying.
Speaker 1:You can still order another drink if that's what you want, but now that decision is more of a decision rather than an automatic extension of this fun that you're having. So you can ask yourself this. If I'm already having a good time, what am I expecting the next drink to add? Maybe you have an answer. Maybe there's a glass of wine that somebody's been drinking and you want to try that.
Speaker 1:Or maybe their cocktail. Or maybe you've chosen to drink more than you normally would that night and you're totally comfortable with that. But that's information that's very useful. But sometimes that honest answer is that you don't expect that drink to add anything specific. It just simply feels like the night is still happening, so the drinking should still be happening as well.
Speaker 1:Recognizing that moment can give you a natural place to slow down or to stop without feeling like you have to end the fun. The fun actually hasn't ended and that's the whole point. You're still at dinner. You're still part of the conversation. You haven't lost the people, the music, or the reason that you wanted to be there in the first place.
Speaker 1:And this same idea works on nights when you're not drinking. Instead of approaching alcohol free dinner parties as this reduced version of the real thing, pay attention to what normally makes those experiences good. You probably are going to feel different without alcohol. You might be more self conscious at the beginning or maybe take longer to settle in. And there's no need for us to actually pretend that every single experience will feel exactly the same.
Speaker 1:It's just not. But the parts that you genuinely value are still available. You can still see the people that you came to see. You can still eat somewhere that you love. You can still listen to music.
Speaker 1:You can still celebrate something. And when you're genuinely having a good time without drinking, guess what? Your brain gets new information. Fun and alcohol, yeah, they can go together, but they don't have to arrive as a single package all the time. Instead, try asking yourself what the best part of the experience was and what actually created it.
Speaker 1:If that first drink helped you to relax and connect, you don't have to take that credit away. Give that credit. But also, if the best moment was a conversation with an old friend, give the friendship some of that credit. If the place was awesome and the music was great, then notice that too and give it credit. This isn't about taking credit away from alcohol just to prove that you don't need it.
Speaker 1:It's about being accurate. Because the more clearly that you understand where that enjoyment comes from, the more freedom you have. And this is where I'm coming to, that you can include alcohol and still not expect it to carry that entire night. You can recognize when you're already having enough fun that another drink isn't necessary. And when you decide not to drink, you can keep the parts of that experience that mattered most.
Speaker 1:Alcohol can add something without being everything. And maybe that's the real difference between drinking for fun and having fun while drinking. Okay, thanks for hanging out with me this week. And until next time, cheers to your mindful drinking journey.
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